Since then, God's leading has been steadily been going from traditional to revisionism/modernism; from conservative to liberal. My old ways of thinking and believing I found just were not honest with scriptures and real life; and were determental to a theology centered on the grace given through Jesus.
Brian, This I can relate to. Except that I went in the opposite direction. I was a "cradle Episcopalian" and grew up in an extremely "Anglocatholic" yet theologically highly conservative parish in a small town in central Missouri. I came out of college "The Great Atheist of the Western World." In my early thirties I experimented with Tibetan Tantric Buddhism (my Guru was a "red hat" Lama of the Karma Kagyu order.) Eventually, I found my way back to Christianity first as a liberal with Eastern "tendencies;" and over time God has been pushing ME more and more in a conservative direction. After retiring from the Army, I was in the first class to graduate from Wittenberg Lutheran Seminary (ECCL) (Kansas City) which is quite conservative as you would expect. I took two years of Greek, a year of Hebrew and various other supplementary courses from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (Southern Baptist Convention) in Kansas City which is extremely conservative as well. As I traveled through life along a "convoluted" path from "semi-militant Atheist" to conservative Christian, I also found that my past ways of thinking and believing were likewise "not honest with scriptures and real life as I experienced them (and as a forensic dentist working with the Police and the Army I saw very much of the very worst of life) and were determental to a theology centered on the grace given through Jesus." A very similar process, driven by the same God, but a different result. We are both seekers, and that I can relate to.
Many years ago, as a college student who was "teetering" on the edge of Atheism, the very wise Pastor (Pr. Adolph Meyer) of an LCMS parish I was serving as Organist at the time, advised me to "study everything, question everything, use my mind to critically evaluate everything, and go wherever the evidence led me. But, wherever my spiritual journey took me, keep my mind open to the *possibility* that conservative, orthodox Christianity just might turn out to be true after all."
Not typical advice to hear from an LCMS Pastor then (in the mid 1960's or now.) But it was among the best advice I ever got from anyone in my entire life.
By the way, I do read your exegesis website almost every week and have done so for a long time. Obviously I disagree with much of your interpretation, but not on your command of Biblical languages, which I very much respect and admire. Even though a liberal - for now, anyway (and I do realize that you absolutely have to go where you believe God is leading you, and I certainly respect that) I will bet you would be a gifted Greek seminary Professor (if you are not teaching already.)
And, I would like to pass on to you, the same advice Pr. Adolph Meyer gave me so long ago. God is not finished with either of us yet.
Peace
Irl