To Pastor Fienen:
Nice job. Rest assured that I fully understand how you can be “respectful“ to women or partnered gay pastors without getting anything icky on your hands or your virtue. For that is how I read your long comment, that is, protecting you rather than being respectful of “them.”
Been trying to figure out what is so upsetting to you about my response to the question about being able to sit next to and respect the ministries and marriages of women and partnered gay pastors. No, it is not a matter of them being "icky" nor do I think them to have "cooties" that by dealing with them are a danger of rubbing off on me. You show your disrespect for me and your lack of understanding of me and the positions that I espouse by suggesting that my objection is a matter of considering them to be icky and a danger of their ickiness rubbing off on me.
After careful and prayerful Bible study, consideration of what the church has taught through the ages, and consultation with my peers, I have concluded that women's ordination to the pastoral ministry, same sex sexual relations, and thus the ordination of partnered gay or lesbian persons to the pastoral ministry is not in accord with God's will. I have also concluded that God's intent for marriage is that it be between a male and a female, although I recognize that people through the ages have distorted that intent in various ways. I know that you and many others after careful and prayerful Bible study and consideration have concluded otherwise.
We disagree. It really doesn't have anything to do with ickiness, although I suppose if it makes you feel more comfortable and confident of your conclusions to denigrate my beliefs by assuming that they are not the result of carful and prayer study but an internal, irrational, revulsion, I can understand your insistence that I must not have really thought this through or listened to the Holy Spirit. How could I rationally disagree with you and your colleagues? There is cognitive dissonance here. So some of my colleagues insist that you arrived at your position not by listening to the Bible but by listening to the culture that insists on the positions you hold. (Which is itself a misjudgment of your position and how you arrived at it.) And you insist that I must have arrived at my position out of fear, or an irrational revulsion at these people's ickiness. Neither estimation is respectful of the other side.
We live in a pluralistic society. That means that not only are we not racially, ethnically, or culturally homogenous, but that we hold disparate beliefs. There are many different religions being practiced in the United States, and of course the nones, and even within faith traditions there are varieties of beliefs, some mutually incompatible. What that means, among other things, is that we must find ways to coexist cooperatively with people with whom we disagree and consider to be simply wrong about some of the things that they believe, say, and do.
There are a number of ways that people have tried to do this. The way that I strive to coexist I described in my post that you dismissed as not "getting anything icky on {my} hands or {my} virtue." So you "read {my} long comment, that is, protecting {me} rather than being respectful of 'them.' " Thus you dismiss my position as irrational and not worthy of serious consideration, a mere defense mechanism. Although you do not say this explicitly, it sounds to me that lurking in you response is the assumption that to be truly respectful of women pastors and partnered gay pastors I must come to agree that their positions are correct and my position is wrong.
This perhaps helps explain why you and so many of your colleagues find this ALPB Forum an uncongenial space. To be truly respected and welcomed here, you would need to be acknowledged as correct and those who have opposed you to be wrong. Sure it may take time for them to recognize the error of their ways and they can be tolerated while they come around, so long as they don't make too much noise or bother, but in the end if they truly respect you, they will agree with you.
One of the foundational principles of the American experiment is the protection of the rights of minorities. And yes, I know that America has sometimes (often) done a dismal job of living up to that principle. I respect the right of people to conclude that women pastors, same sex marriage, and partnered gay pastors are in accord with God's will and to organize their churches to include these beliefs. They may be fellow Lutherans. And in our pluralistic society we need to be able to work together and coexist in those areas where we can without either of us compromising our beliefs. I also claim the right to gather with people who believe as I do in these matters and organize our churches accordingly. And I claim the same respect for me and my beliefs that I am called upon to extend to others who believe differently. I will extend civility and mutual professional courtesy to those who have been called within their religious bodies and in accordance to their beliefs to positions similar to mine.
What I will not do, Charles, is to operate under the assumption that you are right and I am wrong and that inevitably, eventually, I will come to understand that.
Sorry about the long answer, but you made what I consider a major misunderstanding of my position as well as denigration of my beliefs. To just engage in a "do not" "do too" exchange just didn't seem to cut it.