Dreams, fantasies, and desires are not new, nor new as directed at people of the same sex. Nor would any ancient be stunned that some people seem uniformly to experience attraction to the same sex. What is new is the idea that “orientation” is an amoral category of human being like sex, and that committing sins one is oriented toward committing is therefore not sinful.
Much of the modern take on sexuality issues seems to stem from the idea that the purpose of religion is to offer fulfillment.
I have never said that "lusting" is not sinful. I've even raised the question if such lust for a spouse falls under that sin. Jesus did not say, "Every man who looks lustfully at a woman
unless she is his wife, is committing adultery in his heart."
If we are hyper-literal, Jesus didn't say anything about a woman looking lustfully at a man, or lust between same-sex individuals; but we broaden his words to also include them.
Regardless of sexual orientation, we are all in the same ball park. Inner lusts are sinful. It's also highly unlikely that we can completely rid ourselves of them.
What, I believe, makes sexual acts sinful or not, is not the acts themselves; but the relationship between the people. Sexual intercourse can be God-pleasing, loving act between spouses; or an illegal act of rape. It's not the act itself that changes, but how the people are connected (or not) to each other.
Kissing can be misconduct if it is not wanted by the other party; or, it is an act of mutual love when both want that act of affection.