It would be interesting to go back just six months or so and look for all the articles that warned of stolen elections, the dangers of fraud, etc. Just last year Elizabeth Warren was sounding the alarm. Hillary Clinton warned Biden not to concede under any circumstances until it was official. Why? Because it might get into a court battle, and public perception of who was trying to steal the election from whom would make a big difference, as it allegedly was in the aftermath of 2000. Those are experienced insiders. Given that context, it makes perfect sense that even if the normal practice is to start the transition right away, this year we ought to go the extra mile to do things by the book and not give any appearance whatsoever of trying to rush to a conclusion or deny anyone their day in court.
There is very little chance working together civilly. Why would the left want to work together with a bunch of nazis and racist xenophobes? And why would the right want to work together with people who loathe them and think they are only motivated by irrational fear and hatred? When it is just ideas— tax law, trade deals, vehicle emissions standards, etc. then hey, even if you lose and the other side mucks everything up, it isn’t personal. But when identity politics gets involved, the election is “over the soul of the nation” as Biden put it, and it becomes the forces of light vs. the forces of darkness, then the divisions don’t go away after the votes are counted. If I represent the forces of hatred, ignorance, and darkness in your eyes, then I know you aren’t serious in saying you want to work together. And if I’m not, but you haven’t apologized for saying I was, then I know you aren’t worth working together with. Magnanimity is the burden of the winner. Shy of that, divided, uncooperative government is the burden of one who wins by scorching the earth. And make no mistake, identity politics is scorched earth politics.