Lutheran Levity

[Dave Likeness]

What do you call a child who does not believe in Santa?

A Rebel without a Claus.

[Matt Hummel]

Unless he’s Catholic. Then he’s a santavacantist.

[Michael Slusser]

Unless he’s Catholic. Then he’s a santavacantist.

Peace,
Michael

[Dave Benke]

Unless he’s Catholic. Then he’s a santavacantist.

Peace,
Michael

What we think and say here becomes actual news almost immediately.  It's a mystery, a prophetic gift!
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/14/world/europe/italy-bishop-santa-claus.html

Dave Benke

[Dave Likeness]

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

It was an Apple with limited memory...just one byte.  Then everything crashed.

[Donald_Kirchner]

The latest from The Bee:

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-bible-translation-adds-if-you-know-what-i-mean-to-every-verse-in-song-of-solomon

[Brian Stoffregen]

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

It was an Apple with limited memory...just one byte.  Then everything crashed.

It was not the apple in the tree that caused sin to enter the world, but the pear on the ground.


(I might have spelled a word wrong.)

[Dave Likeness]

It is extremely cold in the Midwest this December 24, 2022.....wild chills below zero

So cold today, that an Amish man in the Amana Colonies
in Iowa bought an electric blanket.

So cold today, that a Wisconsin farmer milked his cows
and got ice cream.

So cold today, in a Lutheran parsonage in International Falls,
Minnesota that the kitchen faucet poured out ice cubes.

[Michael Slusser]

This has been passed from hand to hand. Samizdat is so much easier now. Maybe this belongs in an angrier thread, but I just think it's funny.

We received about 4 inches of snow yesterday and .......
 
8:00 am: I made a snowman
 
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
 
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.
 
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.
 
8:22 - The transgender man.. woman...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
 
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not used to decorate snow figures.
 
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
 
8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.
 
8:37 - Then I was accused of using a black face on the snowperson

8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered

8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.
 
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
 
8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
 
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied "Snowballs" and am now a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
 
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
 
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.
 
9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.
 
10:00 - I cried into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a f!@#$%^g snowman

Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. It is just what we have allowed this world to become.

Peace, and Merry Christmas!
Michael

[Dave Likeness]

Adam and Eve became very good at mathematics as they did daily assignments.

This happened because they had been told by God: "Be fruitful and multiply".

[Brian Stoffregen]

Adam and Eve became very good at mathematics as they did daily assignments.

This happened because they had been told by God: "Be fruitful and multiply".

Was that also true of the fish and birds who were also told, "Be fruitful and multiply"?

[Dave Likeness]

Everything was so beautiful and wonderful when marriage began in
the Garden of Eden.

One evening Adam & Eve were strolling hand in hand under the moonlight.
Suddenly, Eve looked up into his eyes and said: "ADAM, DO YOU LOVE ME?"
Adam looked down into her eyes and said: "EVE, WHO ELSE IS THERE?"

[Dave Likeness]

Adam did not have the marriage problems husbands might have  today.

Adam did not have to listen to Eve talking about the man she
could have married.

Adam is the only husband who never had a mother-in-law with the tension
that might complicate a marriage.

[Dave Likeness]

Joel Osteen is the pastor of a mega-church in Houston, Texas.
Advanced copies of his new autobiography "It Had To Be Me"
have been released.

You will like this book.  It starts out by telling all his good points,
all his achievements, and gives the entire history of his education.
The second page is good too.

[Donald_Kirchner]

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=590307653135054&set=a.322572553241900