....
And there you have it. The end of dialogue. The declaration of judgement. I am orthodox, you are not. Your way of being Lutheran is not a proper way.
.....
So in any conversation with anyone in the ELCA, you are going to have to say to them - if you are consistent and honest - "Well, after all the ELCA is not orthodox and their contention that they are is false."
For that is what you have written.
Other than the "end of dialog" judgement, you really are beginning to get the framework. Maybe we can break through - for some dialog after all.

I actually do make plain statements like the above to those in the ELCA. They take the statement at its face value and it is not a problem. Some say maybe, amybe not and shrug. Some disagree, some agree and are staying in the ELCA anyway for a number of reasons. The statement is not a problem. I encourage you to try and hear what that means. The statement is nothing more than a witness.I would guess that you would say it is a false witness. I would disagree.
At some level the assertion you stand by is framed as follows: "For us to discuss, debate, whatever, it is a precondition that you accept that my (your) position is valid and correct." To use Brian's framework "right for me."
But don't you see. That's part of the debate for us. We discuss with the presumption that there is an absolute truth. You are welcome to convince that yours is it, or even that there is none. Go for it. But you don't get to set preconditions for that discussion. That is the only thing that makes "end of argument." We simply cannot endorse what we believe to be in error. Why do you wish to insist-make us- do so as a precondition?
It runs deeper but let's try framing it this way. We assert there is absolute truth. the argument is presented and you (ala Brian) argue that there is only truth "for you," and "for him," and "for me" and who really knows. So let's discuss.. But you basically say, "wait not till you agree that there is only relative truth." Actually you go further and note that because we assert absolute truth, we have "judged you," ... maybe ... but in truth, we only witness to what we believe to be true, and note you reject it ... which is true. Actually what you say is just as judgmental, using your logic.
It goes on and on but if we could get that far, it would be a good start.
TV
PS I also reject the way you framed "romanticism of grandma." in opposition to the "same confession," but one subject at a time.