I was reading a memoir last night (Hannah's Child), and I ran across this sentence: “[Do] not trust yourself to know yourself. You learn who you are only by making yourself accountable to the judgment of others.”
I think this is a huge part of the reason I find individual C&A so helpful and compelling.
We humans are suceptible to remarkable amounts of subtle self-deception (or deception by the devil, as the case may be).
1) We can convince ourselves that we are not worthy of God’s forgiveness.
2) We can also convince ourselves that our sin isn’t really “that bad.”
3) We can be too self-congratulatory that we’ve gotten better about a particular habitual sin.
4) We can be in denial that particular behaviors we cling to are actually sins at all.
I find that I almost always err in at least one of these directions when left entirely to my own devices, and most of the time, I don’t even realize it. For example, it is only with the sense of relief I feel when I hear the words of absolution spoken to me that I come understand that I hadn’t fully believed in God’s forgiveness in the brief order. I am incapable of truly looking at myself objectively, which includes an inability to see my relationship with God objectively.
Built into the form of individual confession is a remedy for the first form of self-deception: the inability to truly see the overflowing abundance of grace for me is countered by an individual assurance of that grace and forgiveness. Numbers 2, 3, and 4 are countered somewhat by the practice of examining one’s conscience and the realization that we are ashamed to confess our sins to another human being. The discipline of articulating one’s sins aloud to another person does a great deal to strip away the self-deception caused by pride.
A skilled confessor, particularly one you have a regular relationship with, will also be able to help discern which (if any) of those categories you fall into at a given moment. In the time for pastoral confession, that pastor can help apply Law and Gospel accordingly. (Though, I must say that one of the most helpful and perceptive confessors I’ve ever had was someone who didn’t know me at all the one time I confessed to him).
Yes, the absolution in the brief order is adequate and valid for all who hear and believe it. Maybe there are some who always (or at least nearly always) fall into that category, though I doubt that on any given Sunday we are all that “good soil” that hears the word, receives it, accepts it, and then bears much good fruit. Some of us may not be ready to hear the absolution because we need the Law to kill before the Gospel can make alive. Some of us may not be ready to hear it in that form, because we’re not sure if we believe that it applies to our sins, or just the sins of the person next to us. Some of us may hear it only as “cheap grace” without realizing that grace always uges us on to deeper faithfulness. If individual C&A can be seen as “Christian therapy,” it is only a form of “Christian therapy” for sin, not for our emotional or psychological well-being (which may be positive secondary consequences, but are not the primary intent). Maybe "individual confession and absolution" won’t always take the forms printed in our hymnals—it may well be a part of regular pastoral care or a even faithful friendship—but for others to help tell us who (and whose) we are, to protect us from self-deception, it certainly helps if we aren’t hiding significant parts of our lives from them. As we come to see ourselves more clearly, we will also come to see the overflowing abundance of God's grace more clearly.