Author Topic: Maybe this is how you get the men to come to church  (Read 803 times)


Team Hesse

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Re: Maybe this is how you get the men to come to church
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2009, 12:58:25 AM »
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/5587035/Church-blesses-fathers-with-beer.html

That is truly ridiculous and irresponsible... completely missing the mark on what being a father is about.  The church has completely lost it's rudder if this is how to "get men to come."
Debbie

Dave Benke

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Re: Maybe this is how you get the men to come to church
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2009, 07:59:21 AM »
a) free booze - not a good idea
b) at my parish we definitely did have food on Father's Day after the Meal in the sanctuary, and it was very good, and the dads were invited to eat before all others on their day
c) we also gave the dads  a prayer book as a free gift
d) Sacred Day annual attendance chart in urban and Caribbean context -
   1) Palm Sunday
   2) Easter
   3) Mother's Day
   4) Father's Day
I've gone through this with some colleagues in NYC, and it's those four in some order.  Variable is if there is a Christmas play/pageant during Divine Service on a Sunday.  That was actually our #1 last year.  Follow-up is of course the key.

Dave Benke

Matt Staneck

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Re: Maybe this is how you get the men to come to church
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2009, 08:30:59 AM »
I think part of the issue, seriously, is that the church has done its best to neuter maleness.  It's a side effect of the culture that has actively sought out ways to reduce maleness.  This is not to say, by the way, that femaleness or femininity is not something to be celebrated, it surely is!  But again within its proper context.  It just seems to me in my limited experience that the church is not seen as a masculine thing to do.  Therefore, the men stay out.  Church can be and is certainly emotional and in a "Me, Mine, I" World where independency is stressed men stay away from church.  I gotta rely on God?  I rely on me! 

Lutheran Hour Ministries is doing a good job IMO in celebrating maleness with their mens network (they also have a woman's network).  Men need to be men, "boys will be boys."  I think it would behoove more churches to have guys nights out at the ballpark or a local establishment where devotion, fellowship, food, and fun are all a part.  Men who are responsible ought to be allowed to have a beer and relax at the ballgame while chowing down hot dogs.  When I turned 21 last year (I realize this makes many of you jealous), my favorite thing about it was being able to go to the old ballpark and have an italian sausage and a beer with my Dad.  Doesn't get any more American or male than that!  But seriously, do some of you actively encourage mens ministries?  If so, how do they go/what do you do?

M. Staneck
Matt Staneck, Pastor
St. John's Evangelical Lutheran Church
Queens, NY

edoughty

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Re: Maybe this is how you get the men to come to church
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2009, 09:06:42 AM »
I think part of the issue, seriously, is that the church has done its best to neuter maleness.  It's a side effect of the culture that has actively sought out ways to reduce maleness.  This is not to say, by the way, that femaleness or femininity is not something to be celebrated, it surely is!  But again within its proper context.  It just seems to me in my limited experience that the church is not seen as a masculine thing to do.  Therefore, the men stay out.  Church can be and is certainly emotional and in a "Me, Mine, I" World where independency is stressed men stay away from church.  I gotta rely on God?  I rely on me! 

Lutheran Hour Ministries is doing a good job IMO in celebrating maleness with their mens network (they also have a woman's network).  Men need to be men, "boys will be boys."  I think it would behoove more churches to have guys nights out at the ballpark or a local establishment where devotion, fellowship, food, and fun are all a part.  Men who are responsible ought to be allowed to have a beer and relax at the ballgame while chowing down hot dogs.  When I turned 21 last year (I realize this makes many of you jealous), my favorite thing about it was being able to go to the old ballpark and have an italian sausage and a beer with my Dad.  Doesn't get any more American or male than that!  But seriously, do some of you actively encourage mens ministries?  If so, how do they go/what do you do?

M. Staneck

We need to do better at this, but currently we have a guys' pizza night every month at a local pizza joint.  The church also owns a duplex which we rent to low-income families as part of our ministry, and I think a fair number of guys find an "in" when they can do something active to maintain it.  One of our members is a cabinet-maker, so when the church added a narthex he donated labor to build cabinets for the narthex and the sacristy.  It is a small congregation, so we don't have a men's "program" (it's not a program-based congregation) but there are many ways that men with various gifts get connected and involved.

Erik

Richard Kidd, STS

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Re: Maybe this is how you get the men to come to church
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2009, 10:01:26 AM »
I think part of the issue, seriously, is that the church has done its best to neuter maleness.  It's a side effect of the culture that has actively sought out ways to reduce maleness.  This is not to say, by the way, that femaleness or femininity is not something to be celebrated, it surely is!  But again within its proper context.  It just seems to me in my limited experience that the church is not seen as a masculine thing to do.  Therefore, the men stay out.  Church can be and is certainly emotional and in a "Me, Mine, I" World where independency is stressed men stay away from church.  I gotta rely on God?  I rely on me! 

We have discussed this some in the "When To Leave The LCMS" thread.  As men move away from taking roles of service in the church and even coming to church, women come in behind to take these roles because they have to be filled.  It gets to the point that encouragement such as this needs to be done to motivate men to come to church and be involved.

This is not an "anti-woman" thing but an encouragement of proper vocation and responsibility to males.

It eventually gets to the point that positions of authority in the congregation like congregational president and elder that I believe are best filled only by men according to the order of Creation must be filled by women as a matter of necessity.

Mike

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MEKoch

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Re: Maybe this is how you get the men to come to church
« Reply #6 on: June 25, 2009, 09:51:54 AM »
"Why Men Hate To Go To Church" is a book which speaks directly to this thread.

Mike Koch