3
« on: January 21, 2022, 06:46:28 PM »
Hello friends. I thought I would share some news and maybe spark some conversation, since this is a forum after all.
On Thursday Jan. 20th I resigned my call as pastor at Holy Trinity, Grandview MO. I did this because I have not been a good husband or father, and with that aspect of my life suffering, and that aspect spilling over to my pastoral vocation, something had to give.
After ignoring, neglecting, working halfheartedly at it, or just hoping it would magically disappear, I am also beginning intensive outpatient treatment to deal with depression and anxiety. I have not been well for a couple of years, and my wife continues to struggle with an eating disorder.
Either I was unable to see or was unwilling to deal with it, but now there isn't a choice.
I also think there is some burnout going on. Some things I very easily care about and get excited for, and some things I don't. It may not be to the extent of Joe Theisman or Alex Smith, but I think I broke my giveadamn and have been hobbling along. The Lord expects more; the church deserves better.
I know I am not alone. I know other pastors struggle with this.
I think I built on sand, rather than on rock. I put more emphasis on my identity as pastor, husband, father, etc, and those identities change. I'm not the same man my wife married, she's not the same woman. Our children have changed. What's the solid ground? My identity in Christ.
Over the years I have had difficulty processing pastoral grief. If I viewed myself as a Christian first, and kept my identity there, maybe I would not be at this position right now?
Thanks for reading. Jeremy
Show Posts